


The Second Baddest Guy Around

by HalfUnion



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Other, features some very lightly implied child abuse, takes place before the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfUnion/pseuds/HalfUnion
Summary: Twice the job titles means twice the status, no?...Except that being Duke of Puzzles brings with it an unfortunate side effect, and that side effect’s name is Lancer.





	The Second Baddest Guy Around

Since it turns out that the King doesn’t intend to pay him at all for his valiant and deliciously high-ranking service, Rouxls Kaard must still tend to his previous place of employment: the shop on the fifth floor of Card Castle. Not that he particularly minds. If it means the castle’s lower citizens (in terms of both status and physical location) still show up to purchase ground-up insects in jars and throw compliments his way, he’s just fine and dandy with the way things are. Twice the job titles means twice the status, no?

Except that being Duke of Puzzles brings with it an unfortunate side effect, and that side effect’s name is Lancer. Who lives right next to the store. And who gets bored frequently. Very frequently.

“Lesser D—OOF!!” Rouxls hears from outside the shop one day, followed by a muffled crashing sound. Smoke billows up in front of the door. “Ho ho ho! That’s the biggest bruise I’ve gotten this week!!” And then Lancer is running haphazardly inside, smoke following him and making Rouxls’s vision hazy, until he manages to sit himself down on the floor. “BEHOLD!! I’m the super badassest,” he calls, pointing at his knee. Rouxls pretends not to see him, instead letting out a sigh and fixing his eyes on the wrecked bicycle now visible through the glass.

“You aren’t looking,” Lancer remarks, kicking his feet a little. Reluctantly, Rouxls turns his gaze to the boy before him, who is covered in dirt and ash but otherwise seems no worse for wear—save for the admittedly sizable bruise on his knee. 

“Dost injuring thyself amuse thou, younge sire?” Rouxls responds, in the put-on voice he’ll insist to hell and back is entirely natural. 

“Ho ho! Yes!” Lancer says. Then his expression shifts, and he looks pensive for a moment. “Well, it makes me look scarier, which is cool…” He pokes at the injury and Rouxls catches him wince for a split second. “I’m the third Baddest Guy around!!”

“The first being thy father, I presumeth,” says Rouxls. Third baddest? He has rankings?

“Yeah! Nobody beats my dad!! He beats up all the guys forever! Blood everywhere, always!”

In that moment, Lancer’s gone and raised a question of _power_ and _influence_ and _implied super-genius_ , which are the only kind worth answering. Rouxls can’t help but pry:

“Ah, then...whomst mighteth the, er, second ‘Baddest Guye’ be...? Asking for completely impersonal reasons, ‘Natch’, as they sayeth!!”

Lancer jumps at the question. “The plushie guy at the store in the forest. Man, he’s so cool! He doesn’t care about anything at all! AND!! He’s covered in delightfully soft patches of fabric!”

Rouxls sighs again, deflated. “I see.”

“And guess what??”

Rouxls looks at the boy, but says nothing, expecting him to continue.

“...(This is the part where you say what.)”

A groan of impatience. “What?”

“Plushie Guy doesn’t care about Lightners or Darkners or anything,” Lancer says excitedly, “But I’m still banned from his store for a whole year!”

“I—that art— _okayeth._ ” Rouxls rests his face in his hands in exasperation.

“And then the other second Baddest Guy is—“

“There arte a second?!” The Duke’s interest re-ignites.

“Um, yeah. Second Baddest Guys, so there’s two of them! Anyways, that would be…” Lancer pauses and smiles, tongue poking out of his mouth. He raises his hands over and head and strikes some sort of ridiculous pose. 

“Well?”

“Wait for it! I’m building dramatic suspense!”

“OH, hurryeth alonge! I haven’t the time for your nonsensical waffling!”

“Okay!” Lancer takes a moment to do a little spin, almost tripping over his own feet. “The other second Baddest Guy iiiiis...you!!”

“ _YES!!!_ ” Rouxls slams a fist on the counter in triumph. “Rouxls Kaard’s nigh-undefeatable powere, influence, and skille hath been provenest once again!! Thou surpriseth me pleasantly upon this daye, weevil.” 

“Really? Awesome!! Usually dad calls my surprises ‘much too loud, tiny apple boy’, or ‘legally barred from the throne room’!” Lancer says happily. “But, power and influence is already my dad’s thing, so that’s actually not why you’re second.”

Rouxls is silent for a moment, caught off-guard and more than a little offended. He’s one of the highest-ranking members of the Kingdom! What about the title of Duke of Goddamn Puzzles isn’t powerful or influential enough? He forces on a fake smile and taps his fingers nervously on the store counter. “Is...is that soe?”

“Yup! You are just very neat at making fancy signs! Curvy letters are super badass, because I can’t write them like, at all! And I heard my dad say that sometimes you even succeed at keeping his guys inside their cages, so I’m pretty sure that is also cool. And, um…” Lancer’s smile fades and he looks down at the floor. He rubs his hands together, brushes his bruised knee, and takes a deep breath. 

Rouxls blinks and stares. The child has seen his calligraphy and liked it? He thinks that his irritatingly sub-par jail success rate is “cool”? Suddenly, he’s reeling. Damn it, the boy’s admiration sounds _genuine_ in some special sort of way he can’t define. He doesn’t wish to be emotionally manipulated by the Kingdom’s heir, of course, but seeing him now, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable, catches him off guard.

The King’s son finishes steeling himself and continues. “My dad’s not always...around. And sometimes when he is around, he doesn’t really want to talk to me. ‘Cuz he’s too busy being a badass, I’m sure! But I’m not allowed to listen to my MP3 player or play games when we’re together, and I have to be really quiet. Or he gets, um, mad.” Lancer pokes at his bruise absentmindedly, as though remembering something. 

“But!! Even when my dad isn’t here, you are! And you always let me talk about my latest super evil schemes and stuff! And I’m not even a little bit banned from your store,” he finishes, and his smile returns. The boy stands up and does another twirl. “Ho ho ho! So that’s why you’re one of the second Baddest Guys! Lancer strikes again, so cool!!”

Rouxls Kaard just continues staring as Lancer pumps his fist in the air. Though part of him desperately wants it back, the boy’s speech has melted his impatience away.

“Hmph!” he finally manages to utter. “I supposeth those art as adequate Reasones as any for thy admiration...for an insect such as thyself, anyhow!” He pauses, debating whether or not to continue his thought. He decides that if the boy wants to see him as some sort of second parent, then he’s going to, regardless of his own thoughts on the matter. “Perhaps one daye I will showeth thou how to properly calligraph, or catcheth worms such as these”—he indicates the worm jar nearby—”if thou remains a good and decent little rail-fly!”

“Neat-o macaroni! I sure feel validated!” Lancer remarks, clearly pleased. But before he can say any more, he sniffs the air, still laced with smoke from outside the door. “Boy, it sure is burning away out there, isn’t it? That’s no good! I should go clean it up.”

Rouxls nods encouragingly. “Yes, thou shouldeth!”

“Okay!! I’m gonna do that, then! I’ll see you later, Lesser Dad!” The boy stands up and turns to leave, but then pauses and turns back around. “But, uh, before I go…”

Oh, no. Rouxls is keenly aware that his patience isn’t going to hold out indefinitely. “Yes?” he asks, cautiously.

“Can I have a bandage? My knee really hurts.”

And at this, the Duke laughs. It’s a strange feeling, laughing at something other than his own jokes, but he’ll dwell on it later. The sound of the bike smoldering fills the store from outside, and if either Duke or boy knew the first thing about bicycles or fire, they’d be concerned. But they don’t and they aren’t, and for today that’s just fine. 

“You mayeth, younge sire, if I can findeth any.” Rouxls begins to rummage through the contents of a shelf under the counter as Lancer toddles up to him, beaming. “Cometh arounde this way! There maye be some near the Worm Crates…”

**Author's Note:**

> There's only so much genuine emotion you can get out of these two goofballs, but I wanted to give it a go, because I am Ultimate Found Family Relationships Fan 3000. Especially when the kid adopts the adult, rather than the other way around.


End file.
